I  just got an e-mail, The ABCs of Living Well, the letter S standing for “Seek Simplicity.” Oh yeah? Listen closely. Seek all you want, my lovelies, nothing is simple. As you may know, I got married after living with my guy for 19 years. (Confessions Of An Encore Bride)  I wasn’t afraid of marriage (hey, I really know this man), but I was afraid of...

After nearly 70 years of noncomittment (an impressive record even for an American male), Archie Andrews finally chose between the two cartoon characters in his life, Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge. Fortunately, he is a cartoon character himself, or this would be a truly weird story. But Archie’s picking Veronica over Betty took many of us by surprise, and...

Buying a bathing suit: Somehow, I feel that I don’t have to say another word. And yet I must. Certain adjectives come springingly to mind: dreaded, humiliating, humbling (not exactly the same as humiliating), life-negating, tiring, stressful. Please feel free to join in!  There are nouns, too: Disaster, disappointment, defeat, compromise, frustration, failure,...

Ladies of the View, listen up. You said that stores are catering more and more to small women, AKA “skinny bitches,” and are phasing out bigger sizes. Oh yeah? Well, first of all, smaller women, AKA petites, are not all “skinny bitches!” Maybe you have us confused with the size 0’s in Juicy Couture: but that’s not what being small means to most of us. Petite sizes...

My alleged book club (we are a hard group to get on the same page) is reading Madame Bovary. Or trying to. Geez Louise, it’s dense! FYI, the name of our little group is the Geez Louise International Book Club, or GLIB. We do have a Louise, and we once had an international member, but she has returned to Italy. Was it something we read? Anyway, the author Gustave...

I saw it on a Dr. Phil show, so it must be true. There’s a syndrome, I don’t remember the name, whereby something in the future seems like a good idea, but when it gets closer, not so much. The show was about marriage and the men who avoid it, but my complex is about curtains. (Where is Jill Zarin when you need her?) Or, more broadly, it’s about decorating....

I almost didn’t post anything today, because I’ve been too busy shopping on line for shoes. Why would someone with more shoes than Imelda Marcos need more? If you’re a woman, I don’t have to explain. But why would someone  in Manhattan, the home of Shoe Mania, literally, use the Internet for shoes? Two words (and a fraction): 6½ Narrow. Yes, there are size 6½...

Who are Larry & Chuck? I have absolutely no idea, although I’ve been wracking my brains all morning. But there it is — on a cute little orange post-it: “Larry and Chuck,” with “2nd” written under the names.   I’d better figure it out soon because it’s on my calendar for today. This post-it could mean anything, and trust me, that I...