So when you achieve it, you’re practically speechless. Words, as they say (using words, of course) cannot express such feelings. But I’ll try. Would you believe that the very same person who couldn’t find anything in her own apartment (I’ve Lost It !) and threatened to hire the detectives of Law & Order to find all the MII’s ...

I’ve been called an aesthete. I’ve been called a lot worse, but let’s not go there. Since an aesthete is a person who loves beauty, you’d think that was a good thing. No way. Loving beauty is SO last century. And it’s not just this year. From the first time we were told to “let it all hang out,” we have been on a slippery...

Dear Reader: Guess what? Today is not just Valentine’s day —  it’s the first anniversary of this blog! A year ago today I launched something truly dangerous: A blog that wasn’t about cats, politics, economics, celebrities, or the political economics of cats owned by celebrities. Whoa! I have nothing against cats. I like them! They like me. But...

I love my book club. That’s The Geez Louise International Book Club to you, bub. AKA “GLIB.” And I beg to differ with Motoko Rich, who writes in the Times (“The Book Club With Just One Member”), that there is a “different class of reader” — people who are more serious about reading — who don’t join book clubs. People...

I am so lonely. Some crazed woman was here yesterday to clean out my closet, if not my act, and she left here toting 6 large shopping bags headed for Goodwill. She got in there and dragged things out I didn’t know I had, made all kinds of piles, had me try on things to decide which pile they went in to: a whirling dervish on a mission. My closet is neater than...

I don’t want to multi task. I don’t even want to task. I’m a girl, so I just wanna have fun. Take doctors. Please. (Sorry about that.) Sometimes, I just want them to tell me what to do. I may not do it. In fact, I probably won’t. But I want an opinion, not a bunch of options, which will necessitate yet another task in my life: doing the...

Why are all the shows I love on TV on vacation? I’m not. Why should they be? Take Bored to Death. It took me two or three episodes to get hooked on the improbably loveable characters and to find myself humming the theme song even though I don’t quite get the words  — and then, just like that, the season was over. Sure, I can watch it on HBO On...

For some weird reason, dogs love me. On Christmas, a white bundle of fluff named Bella was all over me (in front of the children!) and before that, a boxer weighing slightly less than I do jumped into my lap, then followed me around, wagging and whimpering. The dog, not me. Go figure: I’m not even a dog person. But I am a writer and I like to think up names....