Think of this post as a Chinese takeout dinner. Nights when you don’t feel like cooking but have to put something on the table, you whip out the trusty menu from Empire Divine Garden and order stuff like spare ribs, wonton soup, sesame noodles, egg rolls, steamed dumplings, General Tso’s Chicken. And days when a blogger feels a tad brain dead and writing...

I tried not to touch The Anthony Weiner Story. I really didn’t want to go there. But it was too hard to resist. What’s a blogger to do? There are three double entendres in the opening paragraph, and I wasn’t even trying. Ho, Boy, Has This Guy Weiner Got Problems Not even Weiner’s friend, the brilliant Jon Stewart, could keep his hands off....

Useless things you learned in school: How to dissect a frog. The date of the Magna Carta. Trigonometry. Quick! What IS trigonometry? 40% of people in a recent poll thought that 80% of what you learn in school is useless.Or was it that 80% thought 40% was useless. Whatever. True, most of the stuff they crammed into your dear little head had no value whatsoever beyond...

Ever complain about all the useless things they made you study in school? Like how to dissect a frog. Or the date of the Magna Carta. Or trigonometry. Quick! What IS trigonometry? 40% of people in a recent poll thought that 80% of what you learn in school is useless.Or was it that 80% thought 40% was useless. Whatever. It’ strue that some of the stuff they...

  Actual Sent Email:Sorry I didn’t answer your call, but I was out getting drunk with Diana.We also did some shopping. Reply:Next time, can I come? We can skip the shopping part. See? I told the truth instead of making up some lame excuse — and it worked. Think of how this could uncomplicate your life.Or complicate it beyond repair. Excuses You Might Consider....

Or: Where Is A Bookie When You Need One? All bets were off. My horse, the endearingly named Uncle Mo, was scratched the day before the Kentucky Derby, leaving me scratching my head and hedging my bets. I settled on Archarcharch, the horse so nice they named him thrice, and Pants on Fire because the jockey could have become the first woman to win the Derby. Alas,...

Cindy Adams is such a bitch. But she really nailed it on the royal wedding in general, and the bride’s gown in particular. She gave the whole thing the royal yawn in her column in The New York Post, and wondered what all the fuss was about. Yes, yes the gown was very nice. It was appropriate, in good taste, and pretty. Come to think of it, the bride is also...

Problems with Emails? You are not alone.You are not a We all have our personal demons, but if you send out a lot of emails on AOL, you also get DAEMONS. This is very annoying. First of all I don’t know how to pronounce the word, and when I’m yelling WTF at something, I like to know how the devil to say it. Is it DEE-mon, as I thought, or DAY-mon, as...