Dear Reader: These scientific “laws” (some of them mere theories but who are we to quibble) came to me via email, probably forwarded by some guy named Murphy. I’ve added a few comments of my own, so they are now Fortunato’s Laws. There’ll be a short quiz next week, so pay attention: Displacement of WaterWhen the body is fully immersed...

Okay, so it’s the Coffee Pot From Heck (it’s not that terrible), and if you want to be literal, it’s a coffee maker not a pot. But I had to get your attention. So what’s the problem? And what does the Coffee Fairy have to do with it? It’s complicated, as is life itself if you haven’t already noticed. I got the wrong coffee maker...

  Why not? At your next social event, you could prattle on forever (you’ll have to be more succinct on Twitter) about the silky sands, the incredible turquoise water and the amazing cloud formations, all of which look just like the travel brochures even when you just snap a quick photo with your iPhone.   As for the pleasure of reading on the beach, this...

A man should never comment on the good looks of another woman when he’s with you. You know that, right. And you’ve drummed it into his dear little head. If not, do so immediately. Use a large polo mallet if necessary. But did you know that it’s also not a good idea for women to talk too much about the appearance of other women? I learned this on...

Or do you? Yes, yes, of course you need friends. What would we do without them to laugh with, cry with, get mad at, sympathize with, envy, pity, gossip about. . . What would gossip be without friends? Celebrity trash talk just doesn’t satisfy that need for dishing the dirt on people you know. Or, as Bette Midler would say:...

I’m serious. Ever since I started blogging, I’ve been besieged with doubts. Shouldn’t blogs be topical? Sometimes my posts are, but mostly they’re just what I’m thinking about at the moment. That’s topical enough for me, sure, but good enough for the Blogosphere? Shouldn’t blogs have one subject: Like politics, or food, or...