Short-Term Mallomars

Jan 09

Short-Term Mallomars

Everybody has a weakness. Mine is Mallomars. No matter how hard I try to cut back on sugar, I always seem to have a box of these delightful little goodies somewhere in the house. I allow myself two at a time, once a day— well, maybe twice on one of those days— usually with a little cordial-sized glass of milk or a cup of coffee. For reasons I can’t fully describe,...

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Today I Apologized To A Plant

Dec 20

Today I Apologized To A Plant

Living alone has it benefits: you can eat when you want, sleep when you want, basically do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. And you can plug in that cute little ceramic tree, made by your mother’s own little hands, instead of putting up an actual tree with all that hassle and expense, because there’s no one to tell you not to. But there are drawbacks,...

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Medical Whack-A-Mole

Dec 11

Medical Whack-A-Mole

Whack any moles lately? Bet you have. It’s sad but true that unless you’re obscenely young, you have a fluctuating variety of minor (we hope) medical problems popping up all the time. It is truly like playing Whack-A- Mole. Only with doctors. Sometimes it’s actually a mole. The dermatologist gets to whack that one. But then it’s your back. Did you...

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Cheerless

Nov 13

Cheerless

Cheers anyone??? Not so fast. My therapist, who is usually a font of wisdom, says that if I want to meet people I need to get out there. I had to straighten her out. There is no “there there,” as anyone who’s been “out there” will be quick to tell you. Leave me explain. I am a “regular,” although a little irregular I’d like to think, at...

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The Absent-Minded Toddler

Sep 18

The Absent-Minded Toddler

Forget something? You are not alone. Personally, I’ve been forgetting things for longer than I can remember, possibly in the womb. “What did you say this cord was, and why is it always getting tangled?” (A forerunner to hairdryer issues that would plague me to this very day.) I was the two-year old looking for her binky. Or blanky. I forget. The...

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Buddhism or Booze?

Jun 10

Buddhism or Booze?

You can’t go oooommm again. Or can you . . . Hello Bitter Fans! I’m back blogging after a 3-year hiatus, caused by the illness and death of my wonderful husband, Lou, plus several crises at his building in New Jersey. More about that another day. But meanwhile, I am a bit jittery, as you might expect, and am seriously seeking serenity. This is not the first time....

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Drop Phone In Toilet

Aug 20

Drop Phone In Toilet

  This was not at the top of my To Do List. But shit happens. Sometimes all too literally. So what’s a girl to do? First, you scream at the toilet. Which, I know you’re wondering about but will now have entirely TMI, was not empty. Then, number two, you should pardon the expression, you dig down deep, not just into the bowl but into your soul. You...

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Buying A Bathing Suit. Again.

Jul 12

Buying A Bathing Suit. Again.

A few years ago, I wrote a piece for Woman Around Town about buying a bathing suit, and had so much good feedback from it that I included it in my book, I Can’t Believe I’m Not Bitter, available (ahem) on Amazon. I was going to write a new article this year but decided to run the original because a) I am too demoralized from my latest misadventure at...

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