Nov 13

Cheers anyone???

Not so fast.

My therapist, who is usually a font of wisdom, says that if I want to meet people I need to get out there.

I had to straighten her out.

There is no “there there,” as anyone who’s been “out there” will be quick to tell you.

Leave me explain.

I am a “regular,” although a little irregular I’d like to think, at Molly’s, the friendly neighborhood tavern around the corner. I know the waitresses, all of them, and the bartenders, of course. They were nice to me after Lou’s death because they’re good people, and, as you may be aware, the Irish know from grief.

So I’ve found “Cheers,” right?

No way.

Except for the staff, not only doesn’t “everyone know your name,” but nobody knows your name. And couldn’t care less. They’re all on their phones. Or with someone. Or eating. Or all of the above.

Look, I am capable of having a conversation with a stone, although that might land me in the nearest psychiatric ward, and when my favorite booth is taken and I am sitting at the bar, I often start talking to people. They almost always respond (maybe they’d like to be Cheered up too), but that’s it. I never see them again, not even this one guy who was pleasantly friendly, gave me his card and suggested we have lunch or something. He called once, I was busy, he never called again. Okay, so I never called him back. But still.

Wait! I am not looking for the love of my life. Been there, done that. Just someone (male) to have dinner with or see a play or something. I have tons of female friends, and I love them dearly, but sometimes a girl wants to talk to a guy.  The dynamic is different.

Going Solo

Don’t get me wrong, I go to Molly’s alone. I love their french fries, burgers, and my own very special martini. (See Buddhism or Booze for the recipe.) And sometimes, I actually like being alone. I take deep breaths, I play with the olives, I look at Facebook, I make calls, I return texts, I start a small fire. . . Wot?

Well yes, the other night I allowed the cocktail napkin to get dangerously close to the candle, and voila! A little blaze was ignited. As I extinguished it, I gave a startled little exclamation. I hope it wasn’t an expletive deleted, but it doesn’t matter because nobody noticed. Me or the fire.

Really. No. Body. Noticed.

Which begs the question: what I could do with impunity in one of these booths? God knows.

Take off my underwear? I have that bra trick where you unhook it, wiggle out of one side and then appear to be pulling it out of your other sleeve. What if I started singing? This could clear the place out. Or announce that I was running for mayor. Of Dublin. They’d probably vote for me.

Okay, so you get the point. Everyone in this town is wrapped up in themselves, or their phones, which is really the same thing. Nobody knows your name because they are too busy buying Apps.

Oh well, last week I met my new friend, Clarence, for a burger and a “wee drink,” as one of the waitresses likes to say, AKA martini for me and Molson’s Ale for him.

And when he returns from his world travels, I’m meeting my old friend Alex at Molly’s for news of his trip and another man’s point of view of Life Itself. We know each other’s names, and the waitresses will know ours. The thing is, these meetings have to be planned. We have to make a date. In advance.

Wouldn’t it be nice to just “Walk right in, sit right down, Daddy (Paddy?) let your mind roll on.”

And have a drink.

If anyone knows a place like Cheers in my neighborhood, or in the Universe, please let me know. I’ll buy you a martini.
With extra olives.



  1. I could put on a loose sweater, a guy wig and lower my voice and just happen to be in Mollys when you walk in ( you would have to email me in advance- I would need a lot of prep time)

  2. It could work!
    You’re a real pal for even thinking of this.
    It does require planning, though, and I’m still looking for spontaneity. It does exist somewhere in the Universe, doesn’t it?

  3. start a small fire – and nobody notices?? They really are too deep into their smart apps.
    I did find the pubs in Ireland more friendly than here but that was decades ago and it probably changed there too.
    Yeah there is no there out there.

    • Ireland would be nice, but I need a place around the corner, or at least in my time zone.
      Hoping someone will come up with a suggestion.

  4. Dick EIGER /

    Hi Pat:

    I am sorry to learn of Lou’s passing. I am SURE that by now you will have
    met ample male friendliness “chez Molly’s” or anywhere. If you send me your
    E-mail address I will send you my new book: BOOKED FOR LIFE: An Uncommon Memoir

    • Male friendliness, yes. A place to pop in any old time where “everybody knows your name,” not so much.
      Good luck with your new book: love the title.

  5. You’re so right. It seems like another world!! I was once at the Cafe Des Artistes with my friend Angela and a nice gentleman sitting at the bar sent us a bottle of champagne. Later I went to say thanks and say hello. He was leaving in 2 days to go to Strasbourg Festival and invited me to go. Stuff like that happened in NY but I don’t think it still does….

    • I’m not even going to ask if you went to Strasberg! Very nice this time of year, I hear. But it’s true: these things used to happen all the time in the city. I know a couple who met at a coffee shop and ended up married. All because they actually talked to each other. How quaint!

  6. Clarence /

    Pat – the only thing better than the burger and fries was the conversation! I do owe you the remoulade (dipping sauce) recipe as well – that will be forthcoming. We’ll catch up and have a wee drink soon – until then, thank you, in all ways and always.

    Your Friend,


    • Isn’t it great that conversation still lives in this digital age? And I hear that you actually know a place that’s just like Cheers on 88th Street. A bit uptown for me, but hey, the dream still lives.

  7. Jennifer /

    What about that neighborhood restaurant where the other local Italophiles meet – Saluti!

  8. You have to tell me the name of that place again. Non mi ricordo. I do remember my name in Italian — so much more musical than in English — Patrizia. Maybe they’ll remember it too.

  9. Nice Post Pat. I actually work at a place that we do call “Cheers”. Now saying this I realize it will never be exactly like the TV show.

    Ryan’s Daughter on the Upper East Side is the place. Been around since 1979.
    If it’s not broke don’t fix it, is our unestablished motto. In the old days every week they would put out a turkey buffet. Now we do that on Thanksgiving. A patron decided to cook 4 turkeys and a spread and for everyone who doesn’t go away for the Holiday has a place to come and be around other wonderful people.
    Hope to see you on Thanksgiving if you have an open schedule.

  10. That is so great, to have a place for people to come to on Thanksgiving! Not everyone has family or friends in the city or can (or even want to) travel on holidays.
    Your “Cheers” is nice, but a hangout place, for me anyway, has to be closer to home. Doesn’t mean I won’t drop in, just not this Thanksgiving because I’ll be with family.
    What does Ryan’s Daughter do at Christmas?

  11. I just added this site to my rss reader, excellent stuff. Can not get enough!

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