Hot Action Anytime!Penis Growth Guaranteed!Don’t jerk off tonight, meet a local slut.(Substitute delight for slut, and you have a nifty TV jingle.)   These are but a few of the colorful email subjects that have appeared in my New Mail in the last few days. And that’s after trying for a whole month (August is slow) to get unsubscribed from the many, many...

Ah, Rome, the Eternal City. Forget about San Francisco: you can leave your heart here faster than you can say, “Ciao, Baby!” I, however, held on to my heart, but left my underwear. Let me explain! I was in Rome with my friend, Diana, shopping for tennis outfits at this really nice store near the Trevi Fountain. They had good prices (back in the day when...

I know it’s Un-American, but . . . I hate shopping.I loathe mallsEven Saks gives me hives if I’m not in the mood. The thing is, I like things. The things you get if you actually Go Shopping. Which I hate. But there’s one kind of shopping. I love: on the beach. In Italy, men in straw heats come around to your beach chair with fancy purses bearing...

 Hey! It’s summer. Time for a quick, refreshing rerun. I’m running this post again because . . . I can.  Listen, fall will be here soon enough. Too soon. Meanwhile, read this and see if you can’t feel the sun on your face and the sand beneath your toes, or vice versa, if that works for you. . . Life’s a Beach I love the beach,...

Taken With My iPhone! Did you ever win a contest? Spoiler Alert: You actually have to enter one to be a contender. But assuming that you were you’d want to win, right? We all do. It doesn’t matter if it’s only a game of Monoply (with or without Jail) or a scratch-off Lotto ticket for 2 bucks. Sure, the big time lottery would be nice, but winning...

Yes, yes, I know. Grief has only seven stages. But this is more complicated.Stage 1: Regret: Why am I taking this trip?Why? Because it’s a cruise on the Queen Mary 2 (a dream of mine), that’s why, and it leaves from Brooklyn, a cab ride away. No plane! No security lines! No being trapped in a flying sardine can with people who mess up the bathroom in...