IL DOLCE FAR NIENTE“The sweetness of doing nothing.” If this were an Olympic event, Americans would never win a single medal, and Italians would take home the gold every time. They did, after all, come up with the saying-—and practice it whenever possible. Americans, on the other hand, think that idleness is next to godlessness. Punishable by nasty looks from anyone...

When Kate McKinnon was abducted by aliens in a skit on SNL, those creepy creatures tore off her panties but not her shirt. Paints quite a picture, doesn’t it? The Great McKinnon running around with a top but no bottom, something we find more obscene than the other way around—on this planet anyway. Kate called this bare-bottomed business “Donald Duckin’ it” and ...

My Teeth Are Now in Style— And Maybe Yours Are Too!Every damn thing gets a chance to be the new hot thing, and right now it’s quirky teeth—you heard me, people, quirky teeth. The fashion world and those who care about such things have decreed that all those perfectly capped whiter-than-white teeth are sooo last year. If you don’t believe me, check out the standout...

Things ChangeRemember, fellow females (and there’s one oxymoron I can live with), when we were warned never to “wait by the telephone” for HIM to call?And, sacre bleu!  We would never ever ever call him first!Then that changed If you wanted to talk to him, you went right ahead and dialed his number. And you certainly had it.If you got a recorded message, you...

Robbie Robertson died! I am devastated. Not only is he everything the Times Obit said about him, he was also so damned cute! Anyway, Here’s my tribute to him. Yes, it’s a repeat, but some things bear repeating. We all love the song “The Weight” by The Band. It’s #41 on Rolling Stone’s Greatest Songs of All Time, and makes my...

Meet Julian. He’s a cat. Not just any old cat, but a beautiful British Blue.According to his owner/slave, Audrey, he is great looking but dumb (she says this lovingly). Think of Ted Baxter on the Mary Tyler Moore show.Birds fly to the windowsill of the lovely apartment he chooses to grace with his presence, but they fly away when they see . . . A CAT! Meanwhile,...

Huh? Whaddya Say?I SAID!!  HEARING AIDS ARE NOW SEXY!Do you believe your ears? Or my eyes? Because that’s what I read in The New York Times, and would they lie to a nice person such as myself? I think not.One thing I know for sure is that the hearing aids of today are not the gross and ugh-inspiring models of the past. They have changed radically, and so have the...

DROP PHONE IN TOILET This was not at the top of my To Do List.But shit happens. Sometimes all too literally. So what’s a girl to do?First, you scream at the toilet. Which, I know you’re wondering about, but will now have entirely TMI, was not empty.Then, number two, you should pardon the expression, you dig down deep, not just into the bowl but into your soul.You...