Too Much Information!

Aug 09

You have to ask?

With a few clicks on Google or Bing, you can find out almost anything about almost anyone.

Isn’t it amazing just how much dirt we all seem to crave -and of course, the media loves giving it to us. Sure, if you’re a celbrity, you give up privacy. But really! Long before the ghoulish media coverage of Michael Jackson’s death, I realized that privacy was dead.

It was back in the ’90s, when the Pope’s colon surgery was reported by the media in excruciating detail.There was even a diagram of his insides in The New York Times. Sorry, folks, but that was TMI! People! We’re talking about a very private orifice of the Holy Father. (I usually phrase that a bit more coarsely, but you get my drift.) privacylips.jpg

  privacylips.jpgknew then that nothing was sacred (literally), and it’s only gotten worse. Yeah, sure, some of this information is good: Katie Couric let us watch her colonoscopy and that inspired many people to get tested. (The words “inspired” and “colonoscopy” are not usually found in the same sentence.) But really, I don’t have to hear about everyone’s, celebs and non-celebs alike. It’s bad enough that I have to get these things myself; I wish that people would respect their own privacy and not tell me all the delightful details.

(Unless, of course, you write a blog, then anything goes: See The Genie Is Out of the Orifice.)

When it comes to privacy, there’s a minefield out there – even for us mere mortals – and some of it is our own damn fault . . .

Have you noticed the way people insist on telling you things you really don’t want to know, usually involving some bodily function or other, which is especially delightful during dinner. Your kid threw up? How many times? You found WHAT in your handkerchief? Your panties? Stop! And also: Desist! I want my meal to be happy, or at least mildly pleasant, so wait until after dessert.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Okay, so it didn’t work for the military. But keep this in mind: You don’t have to answer every question, and you should never volunteer certain information.

Here are a few things I will not reveal:

How much I paid for my apartment.
Sure, you can look it up somewhere in the dusty files of City Hall or some governmental agency. Probably on line! But I ain’t saying.

That I’m scheduled for another colonoscopy.
Actually, that may be never, unless they change that vile liquid you have to drink before the actual thing, which is the painless part these days.

About age:
Let’s make a deal.
You tell me how much you weigh, and I’ll tell you how old I am.

Frankly, I don’t care how much you weigh -or how old you are, or how much you paid for your apartment, or when you’re getting your next colonoscopy- but this challenge usually works.

People are really sensitive about their weight. And if we don’t watch out, your weight -along with your age, your address, your phone number, and the state of your bank balance – will be posted all over the Internet. Maybe (GASP!) it already is! And people will start talking about it openly.

“Gee, she looks good for her weight.”
“He works at Target and he’s, oh, about 240.”
“Jim in Human Resources? He must be in his mid 300’s by now.”

Don’t laugh. We are in the (Too Much) Information Age.
Anything can happen.


So. Anyone else out there tired of being bombarded with TMI????

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