Son of YO, UNIVERSE!

               What good is a “secret” that’s been out for thousands of years?

Well, if it’s news to you, it could change your life.

The Secret, which had everyone buzzing on Oprah, is that everything in the universe is connected, including your thoughts, so that what you think directly affects what happens to you. In fact, you get what you ask the universe to give you.

This is not praying or begging, but like placing an order in a catalog. You have to be specific, and you have to work towards your goal. But if you do this, you will get what you want.

Trust me, folks, this is nothing new. I’m not saying it’s bad, nor am I mocking it. Maureen Dowd called it a cross between Dr. Phil and the Da Vinci Code. Well, yeah, a little around the edges. If I were bitter, I’d say that’s it’s a new way to make money from an old idea. All I know is that when I went to the web site, it asked for $4.95 to enter it, and when I didn’t pay up, that colorful whirling ball came up and wouldn’t stop until I shut down the computer and rebooted. Coincidence? Retribution? You decide.

Anyway, this whole philosophy goes back to the time of Aristotle (a lot of good it did him!), or maybe even to some cheery caveman — one who hadn’t seen those poignant Geico ads . . .

Hello? Positive thinking?
As in: The Power of? As in, Norman Vincent Peale? It’s no secret that he preached these ideas and had a huge following last century.

How about the practice of 1900, revived in the sixties (what wasn’t?), of repeating to yourself: “Every day in every way I am getting better and better.”

I suppose you could substitute “richer” and “richer.” Or “thinner and thinner.” On an episode of Upstairs Downstairs, a woman repeats, “Every day in every way my baby is getting more and more male.” Hmm. How do you say that in Chinese? Never mind.

I have used a visualization technique called Psycho Cybernetics, from the book published in 1960. The idea is that if you can picture yourself doing something, say executing a perfect swan dive off the high platform-really picture it, in clear and vivid detail-you can do it in actuality. I know for certain that this works. I, for one, cannot begin to imagine executing a perfect swan dive anytime in this lifetime. And sure enough, I can’t.

All right, that’s not fair. I have successfully used visualization to win over difficult clients, get the apartment I wanted (you think that’s easy in Manhattan?), ride a horse (not well, but without falling off), even find a man! Yes, yes, I swear it’s true. I worked with a counselor nearly 20 years ago to focus on what I really wanted. So I pictured myself and this person, whoever he was, cooking together and laughing. Soon after, I totally got my wish. It came with a few features I couldn’t have begun to imagine (let’s not go there) but really, although we do bicker about how much salt to put in the pasta water, we have a happy relationship. This positive thinking stuff really works!

  MAYBE YOU WANT TO BE MISS UNIVERSE!!

Well, maybe not. All the visualization in the world wouldn’t work for me, or most of you guys out there. But if that’s your dream, go for it. Put on your lip gloss and put in your reqeust — to the Universe.

Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth . . .

It’s always been true that like attracts like. So if you’re happy  — or depressed  — that’s the kind of person who’ll gravitate towards you. It’s also true that How a Man Thinketh (a book written in the 1890’s by James Allen) really does count. It counteth a lot, according to Allen:

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.” The book calls this idea “The Strangest Secret.”

Ever hear of Tony Robbins, Dennis Waitley, or Wayne (“You’ll-See-It-When-You-Believe-It”) Dyer? They’re all in on “the secret” and will be happy to share their version of it with you. I haven’t read Think and Get Rich, but I suspect the title says it all. And what about Chicken Soup for the Soul? Isn’t that another way of saying all this? For a condensed version (I couldn’t help myself) here’s what Loretta Lynn told me about overcoming obstacles: “Honey, I didn’t think about what I didn’t have, but what I did have.” Worked for her, didn’t it.

I used to tell people to “talk to the universe” to solve their problems. They hated me for that. It’s fine for someone like Oprah (there is no one in the universe like Oprah) to share The Secret with millions, but you, on the other hand, should not try this at home.

People don’t want to hear that they may be the cause of their own problems, and that they could have a better life if they gave themselves an attitude adjustment. If you tell them this too aggressively, they may be tempted to give you one, upside the head.

Look on the bright side! Now you know The Secret. You can be rich. And thin. And find love. And never grow old. (Why doesn’t that one work, I wonder?) Let us go forth in our wonderfulness and unleash the glorious power of our thoughts into the bountiful universe. Negativity? Don’t even think about it.

(Son of Yo, Universe! is a new version of the original: Yo, Universe first seen in March.)

ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT POSITIVE THINKING? DOES IT WORK FOR YOU?