Yes, yes, I know. Grief has only seven stages. But this is more complicated.Stage 1: Regret: Why am I taking this trip?Why? Because it’s a cruise on the Queen Mary 2 (a dream of mine), that’s why, and it leaves from Brooklyn, a cab ride away. No plane! No security lines! No being trapped in a flying sardine can with people who mess up the bathroom in...

No matter how colorful they are—and they are very colorful this year—buying a bathing suit will give you the blues. What can I say? A few adjectives do spring to mind: Dreaded, humiliating, humbling (not exactly the same as humiliating), life-negating, tiring, stressful.(Please feel free to join in!) And then there are the nouns:Disaster, failure, disappointment,...

Are There Fireworks In Your Relationship? They say that if there are no fireworks in your relationship, you’re in trouble. I was in trouble. The guy I eventually married— the key word here, folks, is “eventually”—and I were about to have our first Fourth of July together. Yes, that SUCH a girly thing to say. But I take these things seriously and I...

I’m not. As one of those I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it types, I have little patience waiting for sales, digging through piles of messed-up merchandise desperately seeking bargains, or buying cheaply off season to squirrel away for later. (What personality type, I wonder, are squirrels?) MEN HUNT, WOMEN GATHER. As we all know, men hunt, women gather....

Weird Words & Blueberries The things you learn by doing The New York Times crossword puzzle! Strange words like adit (a mine entrance), etui (a decorative case for a sewing kit) or my personal favorite, ort (a scrap of food), words that you’ll never see or hear anywhere else, and certainly will never utter. Utter waste of time, crosswords? Some think so,...

I try to be fiscally responsible, really I do. For one thing, I’m a conservative investor, and while the stock market often feels like gambling,  I don’t actually go to Vegas and bet everything on red. Or black. In fact, I don’t go to LasVegas at all any more. Been there, done that. But back in the day when I did, I once sat next to Murray The...

They said it couldn’t be done.Hell, I said it couldn’t be done.But it’s being done: Anthony Weiner is back, and not only is he running for mayor of the great city of New Yawk, but the latest poll says that he’s doing better than expected. Holy hot dog! Which is actually spelled “wiener,” not “weiner,” but that...

Broadway Has Gone To Hell! No, not the shows. In spite of all the four-letter words, pyrotechnics, and kinky boots, plays are pretty much the same as they have been for years: not as great as the Golden Age (before our time, of course), but a lot better than your average high school musical (lower case letters). It’s the audience that’s...