OPENING ACT

Nov 09

 

Congratulations!

You have reached, possibly by computer error, the very first post in the new blog:

MY AGE IS UNLISTED!

This site used to be called: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M NOT BITTER, and while it’s true that we must never become embittered, it’s also true that we have become older. So we need, more than ever, to see something funny in the challenges Life hands us these days. You know, like figuring out what the hell bitcoin is, losing your favorite sitcom because that streaming service suddenly doesn’t work, worrying if democracy is in danger. And wondering why Larry David is screaming in that picture. Which will be revealed shortly.

MY AGE IS UNLISTED is for anyone over 50 who feels it might be fun to read something for a change that doesn’t want to make you take a flying leap off of the nearest tall building.

IT’S OUR GRAND OPENING, FOLKS—

AND WE’RE OPENING WITH A POST ABOUT OPENING.

Yes, you read that right. We’re going to tackle (and hopefully bring to its knees) another type of opening, the problem that anyone living in these trying times has— but especially those who’ve reached the half century mark and beyond—with the way things are packaged. You know, those parcels you get all the time, obviously designed by sadists, that you cannot open without a sharp object—and sometimes not even then.

You’re with me on the this one, right?

Everything comes over packaged. And if you use Amazon or other online service, you can order several things at the same time and receive them all in separate, difficult-to-open packages. Just the other day, I sent for three nail polish products: base coat, polish, and top coat, because, duh, that’s the way you polish your nails. But you guessed it, folks: they each came separately, in large envelopes way too big for the single measly bottle within.

I try to be ecologically responsible, I really do. I save some of the boxes and the bubble wrap, the better to return the stuff that doesn’t look like what I thought I was buying. But really, most of the packaging is wasted. And a waste of my precious time! As for bubble wrap, although it sometimes seems terribly over used, it is fun to pop those bubbles. Admit it. You love it. We all do. So all this is not a total waste.

And don’t you love the “Peel Here” instructions on packages that look so easy but cannot be torn off by any human person, and require scissors, or some sort of knife, or a letter opener as shown here. It should not be that difficult, people, to open a simple package of AA batteries.

But when it comes to exposing the woes of impossible-to-open packages, Larry David nailed it, as he is wont to do.

Here’s a clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm that says it all.

And if a picture is worth a thousand words, this video is worth a fortune to those among us who have trouble opening a can of tuna. And you know who you are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HubZInAs0-A

If you’ve recovered from laughing and/or crying, feel free to post a comment below, happy in the the knowledge that you will be helping the huddled masses yearning to be free of all this over-packaging.

Maybe they’ll sharpen all their knives. Or find that hammer in the junk drawer. Or buy a hacksaw. At least they will know that they are not alone.

And neither are you, here at MY AGE IS UNLISTED.

 

About comments: We use first names only and don’t publish email addresses, so no one will send you an email or text—or, god forfend, a package.

 

More new stuff: Click on WELCOME to find out why you’re here, ABOUT ME, if you’re curious about my checkered career, and MY FAVORITES, for your reading pleasure.

 

 

 

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