It’s Valentine’s Day. Again.

Feb 13

Yes, people, it’s that time again, whether you’re ready or not.

So, to cheer you up, here’s a Blast From the Past! It’s when  Pat appeared on Good Morning New York 10 years ago, with Rosanna Scotto and Greg Kelly.

Pat chatted with Rosanna, sparred with Greg, and gave the VALENTINE’S DAY QUIZ.

They extended the segment (Pat was on a roll) but there still wasn’t enough time for the viewing audience to take the entire quiz. But now YOU can. Note: It was written for women, but men should take the quiz too. Just change the pronouns from she/her to he/him.Or they/them.

Anyway, here’s the quiz: it’s all she wrote.

You were madly in love with a guy, but he broke your heart. Do you:

A. Feel grateful for the experience of having been in love, and don’t dwell on the breakup.
B. Send one of those emails threatening that his toes (or other pertinent parts) will fall off if he doesn’t respond, and he won’t respond because he never listens.
C. Get your BFFs together and plot some really sweet revenge.
D. Still hope he’ll call even though you know it’ll be a disaster.

Every year, your guy makes you meatloaf for Valentine’s Day.
It’s really delicious, you love the gesture, and you want to encourage him to cook! BUT it gives you one colossal case of heartburn.
What do you do?

A. Go directly to Duane Reade for their strongest anti-acid, take some, then destroy the evidence.
B. Eat Pray Love: That is, Eat the meatloaf, Pray for relief, but prepare to suffer for Love.
C. You got a dog, right? Dogs don’t get heartburn! And the meatloaf sure beats Alpo.
D. Tell the truth, even though this may be a fate far worse than heartburn.

You’re not married, but you’re in a committed relationship. When you introduce him at the office party, what do you say?

A.“This is Alex, my partner.” Very mature. The danger is that they might think you’re starting your own company.
B. “This is Alex, my fiancé” (which is not exactly a lie). When they ask where’s the ring, tell them that it’s too big to take out of the vault.
C. “This is Alex,” period, giving new meaning to the expression, “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”
D. “This is my latest lover, Alex.” Whoa, Nellie. It may lose you the promotion, but it will do wonders for your street creds.

4. YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED BUT HE DOESN’T. How do you handle it?

A. If it’s important to you and it’s never going to change, take a deep breath, update your online profile, and renew your membership on OkCupid.
B. Give him an ultimatum. But be prepared to act on it (that’s the hard part).
C. Leave town. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” On the other hand, “Out of sight, out of mind.” You have a 50-50 chance of this one working.
D. Stay in the relationship and make one person happy—your dentist. You’ll grind your teeth so much, you’ll spend more time in his office than you do with your boyfriend.

Not only haven’t you got a date for Valentine’s Day, you don’t have anyone special in your life. It happens to the best of us! You may find that special someone sometime. But what do you do right now?

A. Send a flowery Valentine card to a close friend, your mother, or anyone you care about. You’ll love yourself in the morning.
B. Do something nice for yourself: buy that purse, get a mani/pedi—or go see that fortuneteller who tells everyone they will meet a tall, handsome stranger. Maybe you will.
C. Look on the bright side: you’re not trapped in a horrible relationship with a jobless slob who doesn’t appreciate you. Like some others who shall remain nameless.
D. Sit home with a pint of Chunky Monkey and watch something weepy like Out of Africa. It won’t help, but at least it will clear your sinuses.

You’ve accepted a date for Valentine’s Day with a guy you sorta like, and then someone you’re REALLY interested in asks you out. Now what?

A. Suck it up. Go on the first date, be nice, but tell Bachelor #2 that you’d love to get together and how about next Saturday night.
B. Get another woman (someone hot!) to ask the “sorta” guy out, then hope that he has no scruples and will worm out of your date. If this works, you get the man you want, AND you find out that Bachelor #1 is not a stand-up guy.
C. Start talking to him incessantly about marriage and children, and suggest meeting your parents on Valentine’s Day. Bonus lie: your dad is ex-CIA.
D. Accept the one you really want, then wait until the last minute and tell the first guy you’ve got chicken pox.

You’ve, shall we say, “exaggerated” a bit on your profile for Match.Com. And now you’re going to meet someone who sounds nice. This is the moment of truth. What do you do?

A. Wear your best outfit, brush your teeth, don’t skimp on the make-up, and go forth and meet him. If you like him, tell the truth. He probably lied too.
B. Wear platform shoes to give you that extra 3 inches you claimed, something black to make you look thinner, and meet in a dimly lit bar where you’ll look almost as young as you said you were.
C. Pretend he must have gotten the wrong profile, because YOU would never lie. . . but suggest that now that you’re both here, why not get to know each other.
D. Start apologizing immediately for not being the sexy blonde Swedish 20-something model you described in your profile. And about that photo . . .

You’ve just been introduced to the coolest person. The problem is that you’ve been married (and divorced) three times (It wasn’t your fault!) and you’re afraid this information could be a turn off. Should you:

A. Not tell him right away, but do broach the subject when the moment is right: it may turn out that he’s got a track record as bad or worse than yours. If that’s possible.
B. When it comes up, don’t be embarrassed: Hey, three men proposed to you and you kept accepting until you got it right.
C. Conveniently “forget” one or two marriages. Amnesia happens all the time, in the movies anyway! If things go well, you’ll have to ‘fess up eventually, but why ruin the moment?
D. Let it rip and immediately tell him this—and all your other secrets, even though this kind of truthiness may end things before they start.

Your best friend dumps her boyfriend to date someone else and then . . . decides she wants him back! But in the meantime, he’s asked you out and you really like him. Do you go out with him or not?

A. Yes. Tell your friend the truth as gently as possible, then follow your heart.
B. Just do it! All’s fair in love and war, right? And this is both.
C. Date him once but don’t tell her. If you’re still smitten, go for it. If not, it never happened.
D. Be a martyr and step aside, then give your friend bad advice about her love life.

Your obnoxious boss is coming on to you. You want to keep your job, but this is creepy. How do you cool down the situation?

A. Invent a relationship, and talk about it a lot. You could even get one of those picture frames with a great-looking guy as the sample photo, and put it on your desk.
B. Talk to Human Resources and try to get reassigned to a human.
C. The next time you have a good-looking date (a George Clooney lookalike would be nice), meet at the office. Maybe the competition will scare him off.
D. Talk about the time you nearly entered a convent. No, wait! That might turn him on.
(BTW: This quiz was written before the ME TOO movement, so give yourself a 10 whichever answer you chose.)


A =10 B = 6 C = 3 D = 0

100= You’re either a saint, or you cheated. We’re betting it’s the latter.
60-99= No problem: You’re only a little bitter around the edges. Who isn’t?
40-59= Bitterness is setting in. Get Pat’s book. It will help.
0- 39 = OMG, you need a serious attitude adjustment. Call Dr. Ruth immediately.

To buy her book, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M NOT BITTER, click on the cleverly named “BUY MY BOOK” on the right hand column, down where it cleverly says, “Click Here.”

To see Pat on GOOD MORNING NEW YORK click on her picture (the red arrow) a little farther down on that column.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY from those wonderful folks (me) who bring you My Age is Unlisted!


  1. I thought your test was funny, but I took it seriously and scored 69. Any comment?

    • As a blogger, I’m supposed to comment, but what can I say? You’re not bitter, that’s for sure.
      To change the subject, I scored 66 myself.

  2. Clare Rakshys /

    Thanks Pat. That was fun.

  3. Happy Valentine’s Day, Clare. I know this can be a difficult time.

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