I AM BUGS BUNNY

Quick! Tell the truth.
Are you Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse?

Here’s the story:
You can choose some things in life— like whether to be a Democrat or a Republican, a religious person or a non believer, a carnivore or a vegetarian.

But some things are thrust upon you —you are either short or tall, have blue or brown eyes, are athletic or a klutz, have musical talent or a tin ear.

You also are born, as any mother with tell you, with a distinct personality, and I am here to tell you that you fall into one of two basic categories:
You more closely resemble either Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse.

Don’t worry! There are advantages to both.

Mickey is cuter.
Bugs is more dashing.

Mickey is earnest and inspires trust. You could become president of a bank.
Bugs is a wiseass and inspires glee. You could have your own TV show.

The Mouse is richer: All those endorsements!
The Rabbit has more fun: When he says, “What’s up, Doc?” you know that he is.

Mickey has Minnie. And those funny clunky pumps she wears are suddenly all the rage. At least with my hairdresser’s assistants.
But Bugs looks so good in a tux, he could charm the pants off of anyone. And he since he never wears pants himself . . .

Mickey is more famous: As an icon for Disney, he’s known all over the world.
But Bugs is making a splash these days, and who knows what fame this character may yet achieve in our current snarky era.  Because . . .

Let’s face it , everybody loves a bad boy.

In a New York Times piece Watch The Wabbit, Watch The Wabbit, Dan Barry writes: “He has a New York accent. He’s hilarious in drag. And he’s back in The Essential Bugs Bunny Collection.” This is a  new 2 CD release from Warner Home Video available to devoted fans and a whole new world of cartoon-watching kids who may find BB exactly their kind of guy.

Mr. Barry says that for him the whole Bugs thing is not only essential, but also highly “poisonal,” and that having been exposed to the wascally wabbit early in life, he found a lot of other cartoons to be “condescending” and “witless.” He doesn’t compare Mickey to Bugs specifically, but does he have to?

I guess you figured out by now that I put myself squarely on the side of the guy with the carrot, although one boyfriend long ago used to call me “my sweet little mouse.” In German.  Fitting, actually, since he was a rat. Or, to keep the comparison a bit more parallel, I could call him “my big bad stinking louse.” In English.

Oh well, life goes on.

Sometimes I try to be that cute little mouse, but it never really works out. Although I do love and admire people of the Mickey persuasion. They make life easier to take, by always looking on the bright side and smoothing out things at family dinners.

But I myself am that Bunny Guy at heart and always will be. In fact, sometimes when I find myself getting a little too earnest around the edges, I wish I were more like the Bug Man, not less.  He’s got great timing and style, and while he does gets pushy or pissed, he never gets bitter. He’s not unrelentingly cheerful like Mickey, but simply irrepressible. Reminds me of the Beatles in A Hard Day’s Night. Looney Tunes in the best possible sense.

It just seems that life is too short NOT to be Bugs. Besides, if that’s your inclination, pal, there ain’t nuttin you can do about it

It could be worse: you could be neither Bugs nor Mickey, but another cartoon character, like say, Elmer Fudd.  Now that ,folks, would be big twouble. Twully.

So how about you?

Bugs? Mickey? A little of both?