Cleanliness Is Next To Impossible!

Mar 01

So when you achieve it, you’re practically speechless. Words, as they say (using words, of course) cannot express such feelings. But I’ll try.
Would you believe that the very same person who couldn’t find anything in her own apartment (I’ve Lost It !) and threatened to hire the detectives of Law & Order to find all the MII’s  (articles Missing In Inaction) has turned into a “Do I really need this, no, I’ll throw it out and make more room” kind of gal.

Who knew?

As a woman under the influence — of a Closet Cleaner named Shirley — I have gone beyond mere clothes and shoes, and have even cleared out the medicine chest over the sink, the one that contains no medicine but lots of products from Clarins, YSL, Estee Lauder, and Chanel. A lot less than it was yesterday, though. Plus, I found some nice peachy blush and the perfect eyebrow pencil.

That’s the thing about clearing things out: among all the junk you should have thrown out ages ago, you find a treasure or two. And it’s free! This shopping in your closet philosophy is definitely an idea whose time has come.

And now, in the interest of full disclosure, and because a picture is worth oh you know, I’m going to show you my drawers . . .

drawerpartions.jpgHave you ever seen anything so . . . perfect? Are you reaching for your phone to call Shirley, the Life Style Organizer, AKA the Closet Cleaner? Are you really, really jealous?

Don’t get too excited: I’m not totally cured.

This very morning I spent fifteen minutes looking for the little sweeper thingie (otherwise known as the brush for the dustbin). when it was sitting right next to the big sweeper thingie (otherwise known as the broom). Still can’t find the travel iron or the heart-shaped bookmark from Tiffanys. Tiffanys! And the den: let’s not go there. Literally. Shirley called it “funky,” and she was being kind.

lennywedding.jpgBut on the bright side, I have conquered the clutter in the hall closet, having thrown out several items that were old enough to vote in this (or any other) state, and moved the “non-seasonal” jackets to the back of another closet, where there now is (GASP!) room for them.

So now, when stylish neighbors like Lenny come to visit, there’s a place to hang up his coat, not to mention his hat.

Will wonders, I ask you, never cease???


If  your closet looks like this . . . you might want to contact Shirley Martin, Life Style Organizer: 917-328-5958 or

If your closet looks like this . . . check out The Closet Cleaner Cometh.

If your closet looks like this . . . or even if it doesn’t,
leave a comment so that I know I’m not alone in my Clutterhood.


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