Are You An Elitist?

Nov 30


To find out, take this simple test. My answers are below:

What kind of food do you like?

dreamstime_xs_17173757dreamstime_xs_8110055Obviously champagne and caviar set off major alarms. And I confess I like both, although actually ingest very little of either (It’s the economy, stupid). On the other hand, I love mac ‘n cheese, dirty water hot dogs from street vendors, Devil Dogs — and Mallomars: I’d walk a mile for a Mallomar. I’d even go to a mall. Maybe. Would they then be mall-o-mars. That’s another blog.

Of course, Mallomars are, in their own way, elitist. They’re seasonal, like peaches used to be before  those plastic things dimly reminiscent of real fruit became available all year round, or shad roe (talk about MallomarBoxelitist!) which you still can get only for a short time in the Spring.  As for Mallomars (“Pure chocolate!), you have to wait for October, which is tough if you have a jones in September. Still, it’s worth it. Proust, an elitist if ever there was one, had his madeleines and we have our Mallomars. Twinkies, so not elitist, have a following, too, but personally, I prefer the Hostess Cupcakes with the white swirl on top.

I like cheap cheddar from the super market, but prefer St. Andre triple crème (so sinful) from the fancy schmancy cheese shop. On the other hand, a really good hamburger with French fries versus a fine fillet mignon is a tossup for me. Both have their place. And price. I like pizza, too. But light on the cheese and no pepperoni. . .

Verdict about food: Inconclusive
Next question:  

Where do you like to eat?

Well, home is good, especially if someone else is doing the cleaning up, so that’s non-elitist, right? Unless you live in Buckingham Palace.

I do like fine restaurants, though. Last year, on a significant birthday (no numbers please), we went to La Grenouille, which, mon dieu, is about as elitist as you can get. Speaking a little French is suspicious in itself, although Miss Piggy gets away with it. As to restaurants, more often than not, we go to The Lyric, the diner down the street, which is sooo non-elitist, what with the early bird special and all. I love diners because they’re honest, not pretending to be anything they’re not, except for those mauve and chrome ones in the suburbs where they actually show you to a table. But oh, the soufflé at La Grenouile.

Verdict: Still inconclusive, bordering on schizophrenic.

What about people?

Who you hang with, who you admire: isn’t that the real test of elitism or lack of same. Well, sorta . . .

ElitistMenaceI have a preference for the intelligent ones. Can’t help it. The level of conversation isn’t very high when IQs are very low. On the other hand, some of the nicest people I’ve known would not score high on an SAT, or even know what that meant.

But I have this crazy idea that candidates running for public office, like, say, President of The United States or something, should be intelligent — and actually know something about current events, history, the leader of Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan. And stuff.

I’d have a beer with Joe the Plumber — if he really was a plumber (I have my doubts) and could fix the leaky faucet in my bathroom — but I don’t want to entrust him with the future of the civilized world.

I am so picky.

Oh, and about the beer: I don’t like it all that much, except at the beach or with Thai, Chinese, or Japanese food. The food is usually takeout. In cartons! Does that count? Anyway, I usually prefer a martini or two to a six-pack.

So, about people and choice of beverage: Strongly leaning towards elitism.

What sport do you follow/play?

John Kerry got into trouble for windsurfing, but no one could accuse me of doing that. Swimming is okay, right? I used to follow baseball, giving me many non-elitist points, but don’t anymore, and have never liked watching professional football or basketball. Uh-oh. Even worse, I play tennis. This is looking bad.
Final Question:  

What forms of entertainment do you like?

Well, TV, of course. Although I do dangerously tilt towards PBS and away (far, far away) from reality shows. And movies, although, again, I’m not in the mainstream because I actively dislike most action movies, and honestly, even Avatar didn’t push my buttons. Loved Midnight In Paris, as did millions of other people and they all can’t be elitists. But Woody Allen? Isn’t he the height of elitiosity?

Oh, and the big confession: I like opera. Oh noooo.

I’m afraid the verdict is in. If you think intelligent people should run the country, don’t think that soufflé is a dirty word, liked Rent but don’t dislike La Boheme, don’t think Velveeta is the sine qua non of cheeses, and even vaguely know or want to take the time to Google what sine qua non — or anything else! — means. . .
You, my friend, are an elitist.

As for me: Quilty As Charged.


If you are —even if you’re not—click on our most elitist post yet
Who Was That Countess?

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