Are We Ready For Gay Weddings?
Jul 25
Gay Marrriage:
Legal In NY!
And you know what that means: gay weddings.
As of Sunday, we’ve been having them like crazy. But when I wrote about this two years ago, it was the first —and only— time readers didn’t leave comments.
What was that about?
Maybe you thought maybe it was a non-issue — that consenting adults of any gender should be able to tie the knot in the privacy of their own home, church, synagogue, mosque, catered hall, chapel in Las Vegas, striped tent, rooftop, mountain top, river raft, underwater shark tank, bungee jump platform, or any other damn place they choose.
Whatever.
It’s time to revisit the issue and see what you have to say now . . .
As for me, I want a wedding!
Not my own, silly. Been there, done that.
I want to be invited to a gay wedding.
Adam and Steve: are you listening? I’m not kidding about this.
I have a fantasy about gay weddings, especially between two guys. I’m thinking really tasteful with all the perfect touches, like Charlotte’s in Sex and the City, but with more flair. I saw a picture of two grooms wearing white tuxes with pink shirts and ties. Forget the Wedding Bell Blues. This was pink and white — and gorgeous! I can only imagine the flowers and the table arrangements.
But deep down, really deep down, I hope that some of these weddings will be out-and-out outrageous—like the the gay prom in SATC. I want to borrow a taffeta dress, with tulle maybe, get big hair, and wear way too much eye shadow.
But perhaps I’m being too optimistic. Maybe gay weddings will be just like the heterosexual variety: big, obscenely expensive, with music so loud you have to read lips to get through dinner. I hope not. But come on, we made it legal! Let them eat wedding cake! If they have enough bread, it could be a really great cake, with two grooms or two brides on the top and everything.
For a while, I thought I’d have to go to Iowa for this . . .
Iowa was actually ahead of us on legalizing gay marriages. Really.
I went to Iowa City once, for a Nancy Drew convention, and all I could think was, there’s no there there. Now I know better. These people have it straight, so to speak. We thought that a big night in the Midwest was listening to the corn grow. Apparently, not so. Although it is true that you can hear corn grow: it has periods when it sprouts up really, really fast, usually at night, I think, and the leaves or husks, or whatever they are, make rustling noises as they shoot up. Pretty cool.
Meanwhile, back in the Big Apple, what’s the big deal? Gays are already living together and even adopting children, so why all the fuss about that “little piece of paper” our boyfriends used to tell us was so unimportant. Even Archie Comics is devoting a whole book to its gay character, Kevin, although I don’t think Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys have caught up to this trend.
And if Joe or Frank turn out to be gay, would that destroy civilization as we know it? And if one of them decided to get married . . .
So You Go, Guys! And girls, of course, which I hasten to add is implied in the generic term “guys.” Don’t nail me for being politically incorrect. Remember, “Girls” is iffy, too. You Go, Women just doesn’t cut it as a slogan. You Go, Ladies? I think not.
You Go, Gays?
Does that make anyone happier?
The reason I haven’t talked about weddings between two women is that I think they won’t be so extreme. The civil union ceremonies I’ve heard about sounded lovely, but sedate, like this fictional one from All My Children. Nothing wrong with that, but they seemed just like nice, straight weddings. I could be wrong, but I think that even Rosie O’Donnell had a less-than-outrageous traditional wedding.
What about Cynthia Nixon?
She had a lovely, simple wedding on Sex and the City. But that was with Steve. Now she’s got Christina. And while Christina seems like a sweet, steady-as-she-goes kind of gal, who knows what nuptials might bring out in these two? They looked nice at this awards ceremony. But would their wedding be a big wilder? Or have they already married, quietly, in Iowa?
I don’t know, but I have the feeling that gay weddings could make marriage seem like such a cool thing to do that even I might line up to catch the bouquet at the next wedding I go to, which could be a gay one, hint, hint. So what if I’m already married? Stranger things have happened.
Click here for the original, unexpurgated article:
You Go, Guys
For more on my own, rather unique nuptuals:
Nothing Is Simple: The Wedding Bell Blues
And now, for your comments . . .
