Where Were The GROWNUPS?

So how did you like those adorable kids from Staten Island singing “Over The Rainbow” at the Oscars?

Andy “Who-Needs-Caffeine” Cohen jolted the hosts over at “Morning Joe” by crassly criticizing the cute little buggers, noting that “everything has its time and its place ” and this wasn’t either. He said that the kiddy chorus at the end of this year’s Academy Awards was “terrrible” and “ruined everything!”

This in turn incensed the folks at The Staten Island Advocate, who literally cried “Boo! Hiss” in their headline about the Cohen comments.

Hmm. I wonder what they’d think of my take on the tykes.

As I was watching, I was thinking: These kids went all the way to LA., presumably with adult supervisors, all of whom had to be flown out there and put up at hotels, fed, and transported to the event, all at great trouble and expense —and then they appear at the Oscars IN T-SHIRTS???

Yes, yes, I know, that’s what kids wear. That’s what I wear too, a lot of the time, and so do most of the people who attended the show. But not at the Academy Awards! You dress up for Oscar!

People! I mean, grownups! What’s with this? You think that kids should wear anything they want, any time they want? Nobody noticed that this was a teachable moment? About being, god forfend, appropriate. About respect for an institution. Okay, yeah, it’s an institution we all take pot shots at. But still.

I’m not necessarily suggesting tuxes and gowns (don’t want to straight-jacket the boys or sexualize the girls), but isn’t there something a little bit more formal that the kids could have worn?

As for Mr. Cohen — or as they call him in S.I., “Not So Dandy Andy”— I disagree with his wholesale indictment of the perfermance. “Over The Rainbow” is perfect for the Oscars, it being a night where dreams come true. Or not. And with a little grownup guidance, the kids would have been delightful.

Meanwhile,  the hosts, Anne Hathaway and James Franco . . .

In case you’ve been living in a cave without Internet access, they are attractive, bright, and talented.

That’s what they are. What they aren’t are experienced, polished, or seasoned, like say, Whoopi Goldberg or Billy Crystal. When Billy came on for a brief appearance and showed a clip of Bob Hope, the difference was dramatic: young and appealing vs. mature and in charge.

Franco has been accused of being stoned during the show, and while I’m not sure about that, he wasn’t exactly there, was he? Hathaway showed off each and every gown (8, count’ em, 8) to great advantage. Gorgeous that woman is. Gorgeous is good. As a host, she wasn’t bad either, in fact she was pretty good, she just wasn’t . . . enough.

My first impression was, Wow, she is not the slightest bit overwhelmed by this. How cool is that. But as the night wore on, and on, and on, I thought that it might have been better if the two hosts, Franco in particular,  hadn’t been quite so, what’s the word I’m looking for here: Nonchalant? Casual? Young? Whatever.

I don’t blame them.

They’re part of the generation that Bill Maher (my favorite curmudgeon) tells us scores low on every test except self esteem. Wait! I’m going to quickly add that these particular two young people have earned the right to enormous self esteem. But they shouldn’t have been hosting the Oscars.

Who’s at fault here? You guessed it, folks: the alleged grownups who are supposed to be charge. They should have known better. And they shouldn’t have tried so hard to “attract a younger audience,” which didn’t work anyway.

But what did I expect? Where are the grownups any place these day?

Not running our government, that’s for sure. Our representatives are the kids who threaten to go home if they don’t like the way the game is going. A game by the way that only affects the lives of over 300 million people.

Not regulating the financial market, either. Nothing, repeat nothing, has been done by these instituions to prevent another economic meltdown, and the only person in jail is Bernie Madoff, and “all” he did was run a Ponzi scheme, not plunge us into the worst recession since the Great D.

But I digress.

The Oscars could have been better, they certainly have been worse, and next time, whoever you are who runs this thing:

Please send in the clowns. You know, veteran comedians like Billy, Whoopi, Steve, Hugh —or even Dave!

At Bloginity.com, they have an interesting list of the 12 people they think should host the show in 2012.  It includes William Shatner, George Clooney — and Lady Gaga.

Lady G? I don’t think so.

But she definitely should be a presenter. At the very least, she wouldn’t show up wearing a T-shirt.