Fried Butter On A Stick

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT IS BUTTER!

Of all the weird things about the Iowa Straw Poll —which involves a tiny per cent of Republicans (17,000 out of 55,000,000) but gets what feels like 100% of news coverage 100% of the time — the weirdest thing of all is that snacks at the fair/convention in Ames, Iowa include this one:

Fried Butter On A Stick.

Really.

True, studies say that fatty foods give us all kinds of nasty health problems in the long run, but they sure do make us feel good for the moment. There’s a direct connection between the gut and the brain, and our cravings for all things McDonalds might go back to the Stone Age, where folks had a real need for fat to survive. Although they didn’t survive very long, what with mastodons roaming the Earth and all. Cave men didn’t live long enough to worry about clogged arteries.

Far be it from me to cast aspersions on parties of any particular party, or parts or partisans of any particular party, or parties of the first, second, third,  or indeed any, part, or suggest that any of these parties need a feel-good fix right now to make up for sensible, healthy solutions for the future . . .But it is now widely known that we have evolved (whoops, I forgot: we don’t all believe in that), and we have come to the conclusion that fat is not really the greatest thing to consume in vast quantities.

In fact, I’ll give you a dollar if you can top fried butter on a stick as
The Worst Snack Of All Times.

Meanwhile, Back at the Straw Poll . . .

Worst Snack Ever?
Don’t even think about suggesting fried chocolate covered ice cream or even fried Snickers, Snick on a Stick. If you’ve been there (Iowa), you’ve done that.

Still hungry? At the Straw Poll Fair you could also get:
Two grilled cheese sandwiches served as buns on either side of a one-pound hamburger, with mac ‘n cheese on top. Umm, yummy. And compared to fried butter on a stick that sandwich sounds pretty, well, conservative. 

How bad is butter for you, anyhow?

Well, it actually has less trans fat than margarine, if that’s any consolation. Still, it’s not exactly recommended by your friendly neighborhood cardiologist, and is suggested to be used in moderation. If at all.  As for that snack on a stick, we don’t know what it was fried in, or what that batter was composed of. Think about that.

Just to be on the safe side, you could do what one of the characters on the Jon Stewart Show did —devour mountains of butter dipped in mayonnaise with your bare hands. He said that his doctor told him to avoid fried foods.

I guess the people at the Straw Poll Fair in Iowa march to a different doctor.

For more about Iowa, see:
Are We Ready For Gay Weddings?

For more about cavepeople:
Defending the Cavewoman