“Retweet my tweet!” What is this world coming to? Or more important, what is MY world coming to. I found myself writing this bit of deathless prose to someone who’s helping me with PR for my book, which in case I forgot to mention, is called I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M NOT BITTER. Catchy title, no? No? Then help me come up with something better...

Admit it. There’s something illegal you really, really want to do. You don’t do it because you’d probably go to jail, your mother told you it was wrong, you’d probably go to jail, it would be immoral, you’d probably go to jail, it would be bad for your karma, and you’d probably go to jail. You do the crime, you do the time. And...